(Words) ...A short story about my Grandmother & one of my uncles..Now you know if I'm telling it...

 ....there is a reason.

 No picture today folks..Sorry.


I'm going to share a VERY brief story.

I actually was back in North Carolina to attend the funeral of James Largent Isbell*** nee my Uncle Chuckie (January 24th 2000) in that lil sleepy town in Caldwell County that I have referenced here before and my grandmother (My mother's Mom) was staying with my parents. There was a horrible Nor'Easter that was developing but I needed to 'get back up top' to attend to some business. Now all the while during the days of the process of the funeral my Dad's brother's funeral, my Grandmother was telling ANYONE who would listen to enjoy her now. Now most dismissed what she was saying and it wasn't like she was in failing health although she had seen eight decades on this Earth and was two shy of seeing nine of them (Yes, I am going to make you do the math. Math is more than just 'weight on a fishscale..' You'll be aight over there Einstein. Do the math...)

I told you the story would be brief.

So the night I was to leave from Holly Springs, as I had arrived on VERY SHORT NOTICE and hadn't had a proper chance to prepare my car, I had a flat. I contemplated putting on the spare and just getting back on 'em but was talked down by my Father. He told me he would take me to Knightsdale to get four new ones if I didn't put his granddaughter (the now 13 year old) up the road on that tire. So I'm doing what young folks do, ignoring my Father's request and preparing to put this spare on all while figuring out just where I was going to stop to get a new tire in the morning when my Grandmother comes out to the garage and drops THIS ON ME.....

"Look here you Black Jew*, I'mma tell you this one time... You might wanna come on back inside and enjoy the presence of your grandmother 'cause while I may look well, I am about to your Pop Pop sooner than any of you know. You can ride back up the road tonight if you like but you will be wasting gas because you will just have to turn RIGHT BACK AROUND.. "


She turned right back around and went inside. I closed my trunk and followed. Had a good time that night. She played with my daughter and talked to her and we continued on with our 'playful arguing'** She went to sleep that night......


 She never woke back up. She was gone. Just like that. No fanfare. No doctor. No complaints. We found her the next morning as I was going to depart. Needless to say, that didn't happen. @ me leaving. 


Why am I telling you all this story today. Well, for one because I feel like it. It is on my mind. Two, it is probably gonna help SOMEONE. Someone I probably will NEVER KNOW. Three, I am telling you this SPECIFICALLY TO SAY THAT IF I (OR ANYONE ELSE YOU KNOW THAT YOU FEEL LIKE WILL 'ALWAYS BE AROUND') brings you some particular joy or positivity, enjoy it. 


I think you can 'fill in the rest' can't you???? 

See, I knew you were smart! I knew you could do it. Stop taking folks for granted folks. Young or old. Doesn't matter. I see a lot of you out here who honor those you love with T-Shirts and shit but when they were here YOU TOOK THEM FOR GRANTED. Stop it. Now I am about to get up and take someone to the store who I know is going to take me to EVERY STORE KNOWN TO MAN even though she SWEARS she only will be going this one time. I know better. I also know I may never get to take her to the store on another crowded Christmas holiday stretch. So off I go. Love you Mom....  



*Compared to all of my cousins who had never been above the Mason-Dixon line, I by FAR SPOKE THE FASTEST IN MY FAMILY AND THUS HAD APTLY EARNED THE NICKNAME..."Black Jew"...Meaning fast, slick and intelligent but deadly. - Per my Nan Mama aka my Grandmother.... 

**Family that is reading this KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT... I loved her and she loved me. Our birthdays were one day apart. Needless to say, yeah....We used to get a lil acid tongued with the convos but it was ALL LOVE. Trust me. She would often tell folks that herself.

***  I gave reference to this uncle before actually. Some of you hustlers from DE and NC need to pay homage. He is your OG. TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU. Here's a hint.. Radiator.. I-95...major weight... non stop driving....Miami... Pioneer in that town... You do the math. Especially you Wilmington cats. He is one of your forefathers. Told ya'll you didn't know your own history didn't I? It is why I am not interested in hearing 'your stories'. I know a real live nigga that did that not with the hope for a record deal but just to survive... First. I might let you in on the rest of it one day. One day.... He was also someone who told me never to fuck with it. It wasn't worth it. Even with all the money and the girls. He told me that in private one day. I don't think anyone else really knows that. Until now.

(Interview/Video/Pictures) @ChrisSkillz X The Warehouse Exclusive X Quick 'School Night' Chat..

I FINALLY had to a chance to catch to Chris live and in person. Well worth coming out on a 'school night' for. Set was short but even with the limited number of songs, I got confirmation of everything I thought of the young man. He has the goods. Most cats have a fly name but don't live up to it. Not this cat. Nope. State City Music has a good one. Now I know you guys don't know me for the audio/video 'Chats'(interviews if you will..) but today I decided to switch things up a bit. We are going to sit down and talk more but here is a just a lil taste of what to expect in the future.* The 'chat' is a 'raw one' so if you are at work, turn it down a bit. Or wait 'till you can get at home or on your phone. He speaks on his new projects and such...One of which is FEATURED HERE on the homepage of the blog.





In case you can't get back there here is the link for that.http://thewarehous.blogspot.com/2011/11/mixtape-chrisskillz-x-beyond-sky.html  The link to download his music is there.


Get at Chris Skillz on Facebook as well as his Twitter handle that is in the blog's title post.. 

*I hate hearing myself talk. @ why you don't I don't do 'audio chats' that much but if I am going to call it the 'Chat Series,' well...audio might be in order.

(Words..) KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP and your bitter feelings off the Internet..

I won't get on here and wax on and on about how you should 'handle' your actual relationship's day to day but today's (well last night's) events involving one of the Black Al-Qaeda (That's Black Twitter's nickname that I have given it..) where his relationship was put all over the Net should serve as a lesson or two about what NOT TO DO AFTER YOU HAVE BROKEN UP.*

Well, several lessons actually:

Shit is real B. Lets just start there. It isn't 'just Twitter' anymore now is it? @ this bullshit.

Being an habitual line stepper has its ups and downs. Sometimes you are the stepper..other times folks step over a line of yours..

Hurt folks SAY A LOT OF SHIT and no matter WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT A PERSON, HOW MUCH OF A CLOWN YOU OR YOUR GROUP OF FRIENDS THINKS THEY ARE, OR none of that other judgmental shit you niggas partake in on the regular, SOMEONE MIGHT JUST PUT THAT ASS ON BLAST EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT YOU 'SO CALLED' DO.

A nigga like me enjoys seeing assholes getting..well...asshole treatment..

You reap what you sow. You are just gonna have to take my word for it (or go look homie up) but he was (Who am I kidding, he'll be back at it again..) MORE THAN DOWN TO SLANDER FOLKS mercilessly. Just thumb through his recent images. It was all I saw. Slander...slander...more slander. I mean, it is HIS OPINION and he can have it but it is a kinda 'Live by the gun...die by the gun....' thing. Sorry. That's just how I see it. Example below..(Warning: I'd be easy 'blowing the picture up'..Graphic images in that image feed..)

Just read the type of shit that's being said out here...

I 'altered' the picture but LEFT enough clues up in it ON PURPOSE btw. I know some of you niggas are 'friends' with ole boy. This shit isn't a secret. @ the post. I'm actually just not like ya'll. I'm not here to 'embarrass' him but rather to WARN OTHERS OF HIS MISTAKE. Trust and believe if I wanted to 'BLAST YOUR BOY' like everyone else, I would be. Full name and all. I would also be a sucker though. I'll leave that to some of ya'll. Ya'll got me beat on that sucker ass shit. Just like that sucker shit up top that I just posted in the picture that he seemingly engaged in on the reg...

Now I didn't go back far enough into the story to see who actually bought this 'relationship'** to the Internet (or rather the break up) between the two of them but I did see several points where the releasing of a video could have been AVOIDED. I saw some screenshots of folks convos that QUITE FRANKLY I NOR ANYONE ELSE should have EVER seen, I saw the threat of 'nudes' and the usual 'I'mma slander you' threats/actions though. So naw, I don't feel sorry for him. Nope. I don't. Again, I heard he might have committed suicide but all signs are pointing that he didn't but guess what....

.....even if he did, I'd still type this up. Why? GO BACK UP THERE AND LOOK AT THAT PICTURE. Did you see what the nigga wrote? WHAT IF THAT GIRL HAD COMMITTED SUICIDE BEHIND THAT? I didn't see any of you getting at him for saying it. You'd be out here right now saying she 'didn't have to go and do all of that.."/she shouldn't be worried about what the 'World' thinks of her. Lie to me and say you wouldn't. Aight then. So in the event that the young man did take his life, I'm probably not the person to look to if you want me to say much more than...'Damm..." I mean what if his EX GIRLFRIEND, whose info he spewed all over the Net, committed suicide after REPEATED ATTEMPTS TO CALL 'NO JOY' ON THE SITUATION? The reaction would be?



Again, it isn't as if she is 'totally blameless' in this either. She has some blame. Taking the high road has never hurt anybody. Engaging him probably wasn't the best thing since he is a known 'asshole' (She should know that better than any of us if she dated him..)  But it appears to me she reached her 'point'. I can't get too mad at her for that and if he was her bf, he should have KNOWN AND RESPECTED her 'point'. I suspect some ego, pride and rep got in the way of that... I will say I think the kids comment is outta line though. @ her speaking on his kids. If I heard that right that is...

The thing is this. What those of us who had this permeate our timelines saw happens EVERY DAY on a much smaller scale amongst 'mutual friends' of the couple breaking up. The gossiping. The venting. The revelation of 'secrets'/the slander. Folks airing their dirty laundry and then getting mad/hurt/whatever enough to let some REAL BOMBSHELL SHIT OUT. Then the gloves come off and EVERYONE'S SPOT is blown up. You start talking to your 'friends' 'cause...well...you are hurt..and then the other person defends themselves with some 'info' and boom. EVERYONE HAS CONFIRMATION OF whatever it was they mighta thought (or hoped for as mofos are sad out here and love drama..) went on in your relationship. Not good. Not very mature.

So today's lesson is this kiddies..

KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS (AND THEIR SUBSEQUENT BREAKUPS) off the Net (Hell, just even off the Net..) . For your own good. Trust me. Even in winning, if you ever make it to her TL, you will see remorse and regret***. I would even say keep the 'good shit' to a minimum as even that can prompt folks to 'tempt' you into slandering your ex as well..they are NOW YOUR EX 'FOR SOME REASON'. Just keep quiet. It works out better that way. Trust me. Very hard lesson to 'get' and even harder to have to learn the way the two folks did today.


 The other lesson might be to watch these false prophets but eh..... I think I have said more than enough already. Ya'll might not be ready to hear that shit just yet..



Sidenote: I wonder if his pride will let him 'peace out' of the situation? I mean at this point, leaking her nudes, while it may satisfy all of his male followers who wanted to see her naked anyway, would be pretty pointless right now. I mean what would it prove? That she is 'attractive' enough for him to fuck? That she has a vagina and some titties? I mean...duh.. You went out with her. I also hope that she takes her hand off the red button. It's over. I use these words lightly as neither one of their actions affects ME but at the same time I know how much 'followers' on Twitter REALLY ARE FOLLOWERS. They will take this shit to be 'the normal CORRECT' way to handle such situations 'till someone dies behind it. Then we'll back on that pseudo 'Gone to soon' bullshit ya'll like to throw out...



*I can't be up here on the blog taking folks to task for 'slandering folks' and then turn around and put ole boy's info up here. It is around. I think it is on its way to the NEWS as there is talk of 'suicide'. (Which I don't know if that happened...)


** I don't know WHO WAS RIGHT OR WRONG IN THE RELATIONSHIP. I wouldn't make that logic leap. I am talking about this part of it strictly. Three sides. Hers. His. Th truth. 

*** although again..she was backed into a corner. I won't lie. I would have done EXACTLY what she did at that point. You won't keep talking about me any old type of way and not get a MAJOR response at some point. Nope. Sorry. Doesn't make it 'right' but I understand..)


Oh btw, if EITHER ONE OF YA'LL happen to read this know this. 

This took me all of 15 mins. "Care' isn't something that I would use to describe me writing this. Interested? Yeah. Care? Eh...  So that said, if you 'don't care' what I think, GOOD. It is okay. You don't have to. Just remember TWO THINGS. 

...YOU CLICKED ON HERE TO SEE WHAT I SAID THOUGH JUST LIKE I DID TO SEE WHAT AND WHO YOU WERE. So lets just say we all were 'interested' and leave it at that? Aight?  


...I still haven't said your name and again if what I say doesn't matter, giving me 'credit' by either RTing this or coming at me KINDA VALIDATES IT. Ya know? The high road. Take it. Like one of you should have when you put your shit out there to the level you did to begin with. Now if you wanna 'talk to me', okay cool. But I'm not the one who gave folks ammo. You two did. Both of you did.

(Words) Dont judge me- You

(Chuckles) Where to begin with this one...


Well first off, you NIGGAS SLAY ME with the saying. Every time you use it, all I hear is this whining voice that says:

"Please don't slander mercilessly like I do others for the mundane shit they do 'cause deep down I KNOW I AM WRONG. I'm really just here for the LOLs and don't want to suffer from the mental anguish that I put others through on the daily with my immature take on their daily activities...Please spare my ULTRA SENSITIVE FEELINGS AS I CANNOT TAKE WHAT I DISH OUT. 

Sincerely, 

The Mental Midget That Is Me....


That's how I see that saying. I mean, do what you do! If you like to listen to Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" while you strut around in a Tutu on Saturday mornings while you clean the upstairs of you Mom's house 'cause you don't have your own spot AS A HETRO MALE, that's your business. 

I mean if you wanna suck 4 dicks in one night 'cause it is a 'Once in a Lifetime' opportunity that your four favorite celebs are in one place at one time COOL!! 

Just don't expect me to 'not judge' you JUST AS HARSHLY if you are around here making Lilac and Lilly jokes about 'soft ass rappers'/ go in on what 'hoes know about' trending topics but partaking in suspect activities aight Champ? (Oh, you thought ONLY your favorite 'blogger' had that 'take it too far for the LOL thing? Been around for ever cuz..Stop that shit...)


(Takes another sip of Powerade) The flip side to this though...

Now in a perfect World, we wouldn't be judging each other. Not a perfect World. I judge folks all the time admittedly. What I DON'T DO IS RUN AROUND LIKE MY JUDGEMENT IS THE 'END ALL BE ALL' like some of you sad ass mofos do. Don't have a pot to piss nor window to throw it out of but you are out here 'judging' folks? FOH. Talking about:


"I'm judging you...." 

Motherfucker so what? Judge away nigga. You aren't DOING SHIT FOR ME ANYWAY SO WHAT THE FUCK DO I CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR JUDGEMENT? I mean I can't 'eat' off of your judgement. 

You some type of lawyer or something..somebody important or something?- Jay-Z 

Hell, even if you were, SO THE FUCK WHAT. I guess I am not meant to have 'whatever it is you can provide for me then' and NINE TIMES OUTTA TEN it isn't a basic need so fuck it. You can KEEP THAT SHIT. I don't want it from you and your condescending ass. That goes for ANY OF YOU. Fuck who you are to me. If you feel THAT WAY ABOUT IT, you can keep it. Word you can. If I SUSPECT YOU FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT IT, you can keep it. I don't want it...Whatever it is. Your 'respect' or whatever it is half you niggas only have to offer out here.

Summation for my 'more educated readers'  (Hey don't laugh...I have those...) : 

The ideal that one should even have to preface one's thoughts and desires with such remedial rhetoric such as "Don't judge me.." is one that must come to a halt. These are things that may have started as foolish childhood antics but that have now seeped into the very fiber of our being as adults. This must come to a complete halt if we are to continue further as a people.. The time to play 'secondary grade school' antics must cease. It is not proper decorum to hold fast to these type of displays of immaturity. Often times, the person who has to make such statements resides in a World where their own deeply rooted insecurities and short comings have caused them to ridicule others with GREAT FREQUENCIES. So much so that they begin to feel THE WHOLE WORLD FEELS LIKE THEY DO so they feel the need to start their statements with 'buffers' such as these. They don't want to be the subject of such ridicule themselves obviously so thus this plea cop. It is a 'deflection tool' if you will. Simple Jedi Mind tricks. Little do the they realize that most of us JUST DON'T GIVE THAT MUCH OF A FUCK UNLESS we see an opportunity to dish back some of the bullshit that they do to others on a daily basis.

I feel as though one should be able to do as they please without having to render themselves to the mercy of the thoughts of others. We are all human and we all judge each other in some way but it is not right. Even if a person holds a position of power, I don't feel one should have to 'cater' to that person's whim based on a judgement nor that said person dangling proverbial carrot should even be partaking in such activities. One should do all one can to not accept such behavior as they can probably do without said 'carrot. Tell them to kiss your ass and move on about your day.... 

I do feel though that if someone who is ALWAYS TH PERSON WHO RIDICULES folks just happens to show a chink in their armor, that it is 'Game on' so to speak in some capacity. In other words, I don't feel bad for them when Karma strikes them back in that way. I won't be saying much but I won't be getting in the way of those saying things either. 


In a perfect Utopia, we would all be worry free. Free of such hangups. Alas, here we are. On Earth. I urge you not to care about such folks who are so 'wrapped up in the activities of others that they seek out the LOL moment' but rather to ignore them. 

I've seen the sorrow they were meant for... (Hat tip to The Foreign Exchange...) - in regards to their fate. 

Good day.

(Words) He's Still Here.... - My Dad...

I mean just read the post man... @ who they are.

I don't remember intimate details of my Grandfather's death. I mean I know THE BASICS don't get me wrong but VERY LAST DETAIL? No. What I do remember are the days surrounding it and my own Father's 'shift' in Fatherhood and Manhood. It was huge. Definite impact. More thoughtful. Information started coming faster in regards to me. It was like watching some sort of 'passing of the guard' that was silently taking place. He took on even more than he had previously. He was QUIET for a long time though before it become outwardly apparent. There were days of REALLY THOUGHTFUL SILENCE and many a long run. Sometimes, I would run with him and sometimes off into the night he would go, alone. What I didn't understand then, I more than understand it now. @ the things that transpired during that time period.

Now before you go 'logic leaping', up until that point my Dad was an EXCELLENT DAD. So don't assume I am saying he was horrible. He was a young man in his late 30s to early 40s (I know some of you 19-20somethings think the word 'young' only applies to you but it doesn't..compare it to being 60ish. Broad range..) trying to raise a young BLACK MALE in a society that wasn't exactly 'as accepting' of young black males with VERY FEW LIVING ROLE MODELS TO PATTERN THEMSELVES AFTER. He was actually in the process of getting his OWN SHIT TOGETHER at the time, unbeknownst to the younger me at the time, by going BACK TO SCHOOL after having served his country. I didn't realize any of this at the time because unlike most parents today who come home and 'lay it all on their kids lap', he just DID HIS THING AND KEPT IT MOVING. I honestly thought EVERYONE'S parents worked two jobs, came home to crack open a book or two and every two weeks of the month went off to 'training' with their Military gear on. Then again, he surrounded me with folks who did so that's why I thought that. Again, didn't KNOW IT ALL AT THE TIME but all of that was done purposely. Even the MEN AND WOMEN who were childless and the like moved with a purpose. I say all that to say that he was still finding HIS WAY but knew he had to do it to make a way for me and he did that. I remember that vividly.

Anyhow, that time period stuck out in my head as I got a little older (I was 8 when my grandfather passed so lets say 11 or 12ish...). I would ask him about his own Father and where he was more 'reserved' (read: private and internal with his feelings)  in the past, he was now very candid. He told me that he wished he had been even more so before but he just didn't know 'how' but was glad that I kept asking. He told me that when I had some kids that I should try not to be so 'private' because they would remember, even if I thought they wouldn't. He was right because while I may not remember the 'finite' details of my grandfather's death, I remember JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING MY OWN FATHER did say at that time. I can only hope I'm doing this right in my own life. @ the sharing I am trying to do. I try to give 'em all that I know and if I don't know it, I try to find out. Just like mine did for me.

It is this time period that is helping me today, as I sit here and think about him on what would have been his birthday. My lil cousin shares this day with him (Happy birthday J!) and I remember just how much joy it would bring my Dad to call him on his birthday. More joy than he got from people calling him on his own for sure. Yes, my Father's birthday would often fall ON THANKSGIVING and while I was thankful for all the toys and other things I got over the years, as I got older and saw the hundreds of kids he was helping who DIDN'T HAVE A FATHER/he mentored/he just flat out helped raise in conjunction with their biological, I became more thankful for just HIM. Thankful for the exposure to many things and situations that I otherwise probably wouldn't have sought out on my own.

Now I am not gonna sit here and blow proverbial smoke up ya'lls (insert the word...ATTEMPTING TO KEEP THIS CLEAN...WISH ME LUCK) and say we just got along ALL THE TIME. Naw B. He was my Dad. I was JUST LIKE HIM. Which is to say we MORE THAN HAD OUR  SHARE OF 'ISSUES'. He was VERY HARD ON ME. In his own words, probably too hard. (I beg to differ with that at times as quite frankly, it was needed. I can say that NOW. Then? Eh...) I like to say he was doing what he thought was best and didn't wanna leave anything out. He did a GREAT JOB of doing something that comes with no manual and the mistakes he 'may have made' (Yeah..I'm gonna slander him on his birthday...I'm. Not. You. Nope..Sorry. Not gonna slander him. Next.) I learned from those too and am trying not to repeat them. Just like he asked me to. Gave me a lot of game early on in Life and gave me PLENTY MORE later on just by living. Whatever differences we did have, we worked them out like MEN. I hear a lot of you throwing around that 'phrase' like you know something about it. Nigga you don't know shit about that phrase if you are out here KILLING FOLKS behind your 'acting like men' mantra. That's not what men do. Men don't act like pussies and hide but part of being a man is owning up to YOUR PART of a situation and accepting folks apologies and the like. You know...that 'forgiveness' thing many of you view as a 'weakness'? Yeah that... He taught me that. It is VERY HARD TO DO but I've learned to at least ATTEMPT TO APPLY IT. Some of you could stand a taste of that or two...  Especially if you want others to 'help you' like you say they 'should'... There are a LOT OF YOU I WANT TO HELP IN ANY WAY I CAN but your lack of understanding of this VERY SIMPLE concept is stopping me...Another post. Another time perhaps.. @ this topic. (Sorry..I tried. @ clean..)

Today is pretty difficult but I want ya'll to send ANY ENERGY you have not to me but to my MOM. She is the one who could really use it today. From about 8 years old (Any of you elders reading this who wanna correct me..Go ahead! I wasn't there...You would know..I wouldn't..) to THIS VERY DAY, she has had that man intertwined in her life in some fashion. Yeah...go BACK AND READ WHAT I WROTE. I didn't say for EIGHT YEARS. I said SINCE EIGHT YEARS OLD. So yeah...send that her way at the very least and send her a lot. She needs it on this day. Send some to his living brothers and sisters too while you are at it. His nephew. His niece. His other son. That kid who JUST FOUND OUT THE OTHER DAY that he passed away and damm near passed out in front of me as I told him. Send some their way....

Yep, He's Still Here

This is going to sound a little weird but my Dad is still here. 

Obviously not in the physical but in our actions and in our hearts he is near. 

I remember thinking, morbid I know, just how I would be or how I would react. 

On days like these, when I think about him the most. Holidays, birthdays or other days of impact. 

Funny thing is, even when he was amongst us on the Earth but hundreds of miles away. 

I would hear his voice WITHOUT THE USE OF A PHONE or physical presence. Here's a taste of what he would say. 

If I was about to embark on something worthwhile his voice would come to me in my dreams at night..

He'd say "Well now boy I see you doing something worth a damm..I mighta done alright...

I see all the things I tried to tell you, you actually were paying attention. 

Shit, I thought they fell on deaf ears. I mean you never said a word or gave it a mention. 

I know I was hard on you Son but I did it because it was the only way I knew how. 

If I didn't say "I love you enough", know it wasn't cause I didn't. Let me say it now............ "

I also hear his voice while I am awake, usually when things go awry.

His presence is felt then too. Yeah, that's why I often look to the sky. 

Telling me to suck it up and act like I have a pair. 

Telling me that when things DO GET RIGHT AGAIN....to 'act like you been there'. 

Yeah man, I'm trying to tell you My Dad is still HERE AND IF NEED BE I will repeat.

Funny things is, I don't know if I'm saying it to convince you... or reminding myself so that I will feel complete.... 

I mean I don't want to be the weirdo who runs around like Nutso...

Tapping imaginary backboards and playing imaginary games with much vigor and gusto. 

Talking to 'ghosts of Christmas' pasts, cussing and laughing with my Dad when no one can see. 

Wait, I already do similar things like that, who I am kidding? I cope how I cope. Man this me. 

So yeah I'm gonna talk to him. Probably have a couple of odd things I do in his memory.

He is still here with me. Think like how Jay-Z would get them collect calls from his boy Emory.

He calls me up in my mind to drop a gem or two............................

(........Puts the proverbial pen down....We will be here all day... This 'poem' has no end....To be continued...)

(Music/Thoughts) My official 'thoughts' on @Rapsodymusic's 'For Everything'...

Rapsody and 9th in Baltimore at Sonar

If you are 'new' to the blog or just have never seen me 'write' about music, you should probably know that I don't do 'reviews' in the traditional sense. I am not here to 'bash' anyone's dream nor am I here to listen to music REPEATEDLY (I mean how do you speak on something in depth that you only listen to once or twice..) if I don't like it. That's just how it goes. I don't have to 'love' it all the way but I at least have to 'like it'. It doesn't bring me joy to 'tear down folks' like it seems to bring a lot of ya'lls favorite 'bloggers'. I don't get off on that. I'd rather use that energy and creative wit to help someone. Not go at someone I don't feel should be 'exalted' Sorry. My rules. My blog. If that somehow 'cheapens' this for you then so be it... Besides if I 'reviewed' in the traditional sense, it would be about as long as this paragraph. Seriously. I am pretty succinct when it comes to writing about things that I don't like to that extent.

Anyhow, back to the topic at HAND. Marlena Evans...as she has told you in her OWN RAPS...or Rapsody, as some of you know her as. MC in 9th Wonder's camp. Lets talk about this 'For Everything' she has blessed the masses with. Track by track... 

 Pace Myself produced by 9th Wonder: 

This track is EXACTLY how I would want an intro track to go. Most folks 'skimp' on their opening joint and may pick a beat that isn't very versatile, talk your head off for a bit about what the 'album' is gonna be, shout out folks and the like. Which is cool. I just love it when the MC goes RIGHT IN. Which is what she did. The track itself is a haunting yet mellow joint that would probably get you a ticket somewhere in between Henderson and Dinwiddie (Section of I-85 that stretches from NC to VA). Kenny Loggins FTW @ the sample. I found myself getting lost in her words the first few listens THEN after REALLY LISTENING TO THE BEAT, getting lost and zoning out in it. 

Stand out bars:  

They say the company you keep you are. I'm Valvano.* Youngin' sick with the flow like.....





The Autobiography of M.E. produced by 9th Wonder:

Loved the way this joint was tracked and mixed (Shoutout to Khrysis)...Effortless transition from Pace Myself to this joint (I believe Mr. Loggins is again part of this sample. Could be wrong though).

As far as the 'meaning of the song', I mean read the title. Everything that you may have wanted to know about Rapsody that she hasn't already covered, she dabs into it. @ her childhood. From her parents, to some high school things to just how she got to Raleigh. I won't spoil it too much for you. Just listen to the track. Even I FOUND OUT SOME THINGS ABOUT HER I didn't 'know' and I have made it my business to try to find out as much about her as possible. Everyday living track. Most folks should be able to relate to what she is spitting about honestly.


Standout Bars: 


.....Class President. Became a Raleigh resident. Doctored the flows there but didn't study medicine..


My teacher would say I was falling short of my grades. It coincided with the organization that we had made..that birthed Kooley High and that I met 9th through. H to the 2 to the O** and for U...


A Crush Groove produced by 9th Wonder:

This track is one I uploaded on my 13 year old's Ipod and phone without telling her. Set it as her ring tone just to see her reaction. She has FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG. I mean all the way in love with it. Why did I upload it? Well if you are a Father with ANY SENSE OF REALISM about you, you know your little girl is gonna feel the way Rapsody feels about the young man in the song (and vice versa). I thought the song was a PERFECT explanation of how a male/female relationship should evolve at that age. Not that she is allowed to date mind you but you gotta start somewhere. (That's another blog post for you insecure males out here with daughters. I got one coming. Stay tuned.) That's why I gave her the song to listen to. If you aren't a parent, that last part made zero sense to you probably and it is okay. Just tuck it in your hat for future reference.... Ya'll thought I was gonna use this to diss Nicki didn't you? Nope. Room for everyone. Just trying to show her there are other dope MCs out there too. That's all.

I'm just gonna go ahead and say this about this track too. I feel like her and 9th got in the studio with something to prove on this joint. I hear EMPD/Jodeci in the drum patterns (which in turn means I hear Steve Miller/ZZ Top/Kool in The Gang and I believe The Honey Drippers..I'm missing someone..oh well. Homage paid.) and believe that Prototype was sampled here too. Again, the folks at JAMLA will see this and if I am wrong, I don't mind being corrected.  I put this joint on in the truck and it RATTLED EVERYTHING. Made me wish I had the 12's back in it. I mean the beat is just mean and vicious. I also feel like a certain MC in Toronto along with with a certain "Ark" like named producer might have fueled this particular session. I think they out 'did 'em' with their own style. Just my opinion. I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. It's okay. 


RAPSODY - A CRUSH GROOVE from Pricefilms on Vimeo.


Standout bars: 

The first one I called after every date night. To tell you how it all went and talk about my love life. Hoping you'd be jealous of it. But I could never tell if you was or if you wasn't.. 


Tell me you never FELT that before on EITHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM? @ that line...

 

The Woman's Work produced by 9th Wonder:

9th with the Maxwell sample.... Classic chop. Rapsody paying homage in this one while bigging up woman. What's not to love about that? Another one of those 'Oh you thought I just popped up outta nowhere' tracks. She lets it be known. She also pretty much tells you who her favorite MCs are and where the style she has came from. Listen carefully but don't worry. It isn't the last time she tells you. 

Standout Bars: 


Used to ride nights listening to Phonte and Jay-Z....touring with 'em now..meet my heroes in NYC..saw Cole...Wale..they all say they fucking with me..


A Woman's Work here is never done. Call me Young Billie Holiday cause I'm never Unsung... 


For Everything produced by Khrysis:

Khrysis on the beat with the reflective type vibe. Rapsody with a another glimpse into her upbringing and how her core values where established. 3 minutes and thirty seconds of your time well spent. 

Standout Bars: 


Taught me in Life..ain't no short streets. Anything come fast...It's gonna be that brief.. 


Ain't Worthy Of Love- Ft. GQ Produced by Amp:


There's a saying amongst JAMLA fans (known as the JAMLA ARMY) about the producer of this track. It is an endearing one actually but to the naked eye it might sound like a diss. I believe it was adopted by 9th himself (or at least I have heard him say it on Ustream myself) It is simple. 


I HATE AMP... 

You listen to this MOP sampled track he did for Ain't Worthy and you to will 'hate Amp'. Hate him for how he has you making that face that LL Cool J describes when you hear 'really good hip hop'. On that 'What the FUCK IS THAT?" type time. Yes, this song is that good. Then Rapsody has the AUDACITY to come through and give warnings and drop jewels about the folks who 'aren't worthy' in your life and your need to get rid of 'em to? Sheit... Just listen to the track. 

 

 
Standout bars: 

(Rapsody) These niggas ain't worthy love ask 'em. I'm for real. Fake down to their accents. Playing hard while at night these niggas be back bent. I look down on 'em. Call 'em all T. Braxtons..7 whole days how weak they be actin'... 


These heffas ain't worthy of love. Promise. They only take your dough and want drama. Confusing. Like is it you? Your mans.... 

(GQ) It's got me laughing now I'm rapping with a smirk and shit. Clown nigga act like he was born up in a circus tent... Look in the mirror and see nothing but a reflection...now they lost like they lost they direction (Can't help you though..)....




4:20 produced by Khrysis:

How do you pay homage to a 'pass time'/give those folks something to do their favorite activity and STILL maintain your own belief in not doing said thing? Like this. @ the song. I like how Khrysis used her voice to tell the story in between her spitting..

Example: 

...So I stay away from heights (Khrysis cuts in her voice in another cadence: I was young. Seventeen.) I ain't no how to inhale it like a fiend...

Very fucking creative song indeed. Then for him to carry it over into the hook of the song just puts it over the top. It's just that simple. The beat just GOES and she spits hot Dylan over that joint.



JAMLA GIRLS AND JAMLA BOYS produced by 9th Wonder:

Sample is pretty clear here (If you don't know it is Aaliyah's Rock The Boat) and well done. Makes you want to go to 95 LIVE and hear 9th rock out all night. Never been? That's cool. Rapsody takes you on your own personal tour in this song. Feel good joint. 


Standout Bars: 

Some old flames I knew in past....You wanna reconnect? Well I think I'll let 'em just pass... 

Again. That's a real moment. I think we've all been in the party and saw something from the past and said 'Naw..I'm not on that type time anymore babe..I'm COOL.. Good seeing you. Peace." 

ABC/GUILTY produced by Eric G:

Eric G laced her with a haunting track and Rapsody proceeds to run through the alphabet in her own way. You don't even notice it at first. It is really subtle. Still spitting raw too. No nursery rhymes here. Then the song SWITCHES UP... Eric G has an affinity for early certain types of songs I see. (See the Patti Austin sample on "Lampin") I won't give this sample away 'cause they like to do lil contests and the like. I'm curious to see who gets it myself (or if I am even correct.) Guilty, the second part of this track is wrought with emotion. Speaking on a 'relationship', she goes through the dark side of things...




Standout bars: (I gave one up top already..This one is from the Guilty part of the track..) 


You can blame me for a lot wrongs that I've done here. Checking your phone wondering whose called here. And when you gone, I be wondering "Who you chilling with?"...Insecurity stem emotions from past relationships....


Again..just more 'real walkie talkie'. @ that line..


A Cold Winter ft. Freeway produced by Amp: 


Another Amp banger. More reasons to hate him. Samples Freeway's part on "What We Do" ft. him and Jay-Z... Rapsody goes in and so does Freeway. I always did like Freeway. These type of beats are his LANE for real.


Standout bars: 

(Rapsody) Better get your scarves and skullies ready. Rap spit the rap cold. Da White Betty... 

(Freeway)  Fresh off the intermission. Right back in the kitchen. Feed the customers. This is hustler's ambition. Man listen..This is raw..Not a gram missing..36 O's of that pure shit. Forfeit.... 

All Black Everything produced by Eric G.:

Another Eric G banger. Her play on the word 'black' in the song though....Yikes. Here are some examples...


Standout bars:

A stack of all black jeans 'cause I'm never goin' slack.  Black boyshorts on my ass.....


Black sunglasses 'cause my future Bright Molasses. Blackberry write my rhymes in 'em every night. They scary. Black scarves represent scars. Nooses that they hung THE FIVE and they hanging on my words. Deuces. To BLACK NOT TO BE A FAN OF MICHAEL JACK. Word the Bible colors all black just like my scully cap... 


Live It Up ft. @bluusuede produced by Khrysis: 

Another dope track....Bluu Suede KILLS THE HOOK. If you don't know about Bluu Suede, got get familiar...  

Standout bars: 

Big Boi..Outkast..Out last..any doubt mighta crossed your mind in the near past. This be on minds in the night when I drive fast. In my lane..Rapsody the name and I know my task.....


Rock The Bells ft. Kendrick Lamar produced by Khrysis: 


If you follow Kendrick Lamar, you know that him and 9th/JAMLA have a relationship of sorts anyway. So this collab shouldn't shock you. 


Yo Khrysis, 'What the fuck is this?" @ the beat. This joint goes dumb hard.

Cats are out here sleeping on all three of these folks. The beat maker and the two MCs... I've heard some say Kendrick isn't 'that good'. Sheit.. You better listen harder. They both just blacked out on the track. Short and sweet. 


Standout bars: 


(Rapsody) Pull out like two nines and I aim it dead at they eyes. And tell 'em 'Lyrically motherfucker you have met your demise"....

(K. Dot)  Don't chime in my business.You'll run into an atomic (?) collision .. You knew my colonic was different...I'm shittin'......


This is a track that will have you rewinding back like 'They said what again? Hold up...Bring that back..." 


Dear Friends produced by 9th Wonder:


Your favorite rapper/producer/dj/football/basketball star probably gets mentioned here. Just so you know that they are a fan of Rapsody and DEFINITELY know who she is. Even if this is your first introduction to her. 








Needless to say...this joint has made my playlist. Hope ya'll enjoy it.
















*Jim Valvano...N.C State Coach. Died of Cancer..

**H2O was the name of the group that Kooley High (Rapsody's original group..she is still a member fyi) was a part of.

(Words) Honoring my favorite Veteran.... #happyveteransday

To a few of you this spot should look VERY FAMILIAR TO YOU. Lenoir, NC

Before I start the known debauchery that is Fun Friday* here on the blog, I just wanted to give thanks to all the men and women who put it on the line for us EVERY DAY. In a day where cats are out here throwing around the word 'soldier' and the like, there are ACTUAL REAL SOLDIERS OUT THERE TAKING ENEMY FIRE AND RISKING THEIR LIVES EVERY DAY. I, for one, salute you for it.

While we may not always agree on WHY we are at war, the fact remains, folks are out here sacrificing their lives for us to live the way we live. (What up JR Smith!? How's that 'No YouTube in China thing' working out for ya? Yeah...It is the simple things no?) For that I am thankful. If no more than for the freedom to be who I am and if for no less the freedom to actually have access to YouTube (In case you are dense, that is an EXAMPLE. Don't be so literal..).

Old North Rd. Lenoir, NC commonly known as "BushTown Rd..."

To my favorite Veteran: 


Thank you again. For everything. I know you are gone in the physical but you taught me how to live and learn from you even when you were here with us but not 'IN MY PRESENCE' so I'm pretty good. Miss the trash talking phone calls though and of course seeing you. But the lessons? Didn't forget those! Can still hear what you WOULD SAY so it is just like you are here. Kind of like you used to say about your Mother and Father. I fully understand now just how much you cherished those memories with what appeared to be a look of chagrin but what was more of a joyful memory in those times of 'need'. I get it now. I thought you were hurting when in fact you were healing. I find myself doing the same now. I understand.

Some of your former students, those dudes who you were pretty much THEIR FATHER TOO and colleagues told me to that they wished they had gotten to thank you. I tried to tell them the best way I knew how that just by living their life and becoming something, they did you proud. Some cried. Some just nodded their head. Others didn't know you even kept tabs. Perhaps their thoughts have reached you at this point. I know you hear all of my thoughts and ideas so I will refrain from typing out EVERY DETAIL here, as that is example that you set for me. Just wanted to say a few words publicly 'tis all. Don't mind me. You know how your son is. He is going to say what he is going to say. Again, thank you. For everything. 


Your Son



Again, some of you have VIVIDLY expressed your displeasure in your country's actions. Well within your rights to do so in my opinion. I only say this to you though if YOU REALLY CAN'T STAND HOW WE DO THINGS HERE IN THE UNITED STATES. 




 Move.


* If you knew my Daddy, you would KNOW that he never did mind ONE BIT OF DEBAUCHERY so if you are feeling 'some type of way' about this post being put up in the midst of 'WHATEVER' you may see on the side....Save that shit. He'd probably cuss you out himself and tell you about yourself. He wouldn't feel disrespected. At all. TRUST ME when I tell you.  

(Words) Today's edition of "The Reach": Folks opinions on @Drake's Take Care and Conrad Murray being found guilty of killing MJ..

Normally, I stay away from the 'hot button' topics because TWENTY MILLION PEOPLE weigh in them and folks seem to simultaneously think that they are 'speaking for the people' but still are the only ones who think the way they do. 

In other words, they tend to think people are 'stealing' their little ideals and shit and I don't have time for that small minded shit. The other reason is over saturation. I mean we all are talking about. Why today? 


Today, the two topics happen to go hand in hand with something I was going to write about anyway. The fact that some of you are STILL LISTENING/ACTIVELY SEEKING OUT TO LISTEN/GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY TO LISTEN, TO MUSIC THAT IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU, BY YOUR OWN ADMISSION, ANYWAY AND THE LEVEL OF 'RESPONSIBILITY YOU REFUSE TO TAKE FOR IT' ALL WHILE BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR ITS EXISTENCE. 


What does that have to do with Conrad Murray? (If you are as smart as some of you claim, you ALREADY KNOW WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS ONE..) Well.... it is true that he PROVIDED THE DRUGS for MJ but who TOOK THE DRUGS? Who had the issues to begin with and SOUGHT HIM OUT TO TAKE THE DRUGS KNOWING (Please don't feign ignorance and tell Mike didn't know. He did. Stop that shit.) the drugs were harmful and would have gotten them hook or crook? You know the answer to that one. Michael Joseph Jackson. Not Conrad Murray. Now, I have all of you 'The police/government/court system/etc' ain't shit' niggas, all in my social feeds out here talking about 'Justice served'. For a black man who was blamed for another black man's ADDICTIONS and vices. Word? That's how ya'll wanna carry this? So fuck the personal responsibility that Mike had? Naw B. Thing is, most of you didn't JUST GET TO FEELING THIS WAY. I will give you 'credit' for that. I will also chastise you for it though. Why? It is simple, you are making it seem like it is okay to just 'put the onus' on someone else when you have an issue. I mean for what it is worth, I am ALL FOR ACKNOWLEDGING FOLKS ARE SICK. I did that with Amy Winehouse. She was SICK. Should have been looked at as such. Michael was SICK. Should be looked at as such. What I WOULDN'T DO is demand that every Heroin dealer that ever came in contact with her on some 'Well somebody has to PAY..." type time. For what? Won't bring Amy back. It won't bring Mike back either. It SURELY WON'T STOP FOLKS WHO ARE OUT HERE USING AND SELLING THE STUFF EITHER so lets not play that card. If that were the case, folks would have stopped four celebrities ago. But ya'll keep making 'excuses' for folks. Just like you do in your own lives. It is NEVER YOUR FAULT.....






....which brings us to this Drake shit. Since the swell of the news of his album leaking out track by track to the masses, I promise you I have seen well over a thousand tweets/Facebook statuses,etc about the this album @ Take Care. 


The irony? It is mostly from folks who claim they don't 'care' about Drake. Oh the jokes are endless. He is 'softer' than (insert your joke here). Which are fine. Nobody is above being joked about if you want to say that. It's cool. Some of you out here though...boy let me tell you. You are doing THEE MOST out here. Reaching in for the "LOL" out here. Again, I am not against joking on the boy. Do your thing. Some of you are actually talented enough to do it and even when you OVERDUE IT some ( I said some niggas...) of the shit is WILD FUNNY.  Just understand what you look like out here when you dedicate your WHOLE TIMELINE TO HIM DAY AFTER DAY on some diss shit though. You are no different than the 'wack ass niggas' who diss YOU for liking the 'other elements of hip hop that certain folks bring to the table' who SEEK OUT MUSIC TO DISLIKE IT. Fair is fair. Cry me a river. @ this Drake shit. We get it. You don't like him.

You should just KNOW how CONTRADICTORY you look saying 'no one that I know is checking for the boy', when you take a listen EVERY TIME HE RELEASES NEW PRODUCT on that 'Well maybe this joint might be hot and I don't wanna miss it BUT I DOUBT IT 'CAUSE HE IS WACK' mantra you keep running with. You look foolish. Never in my life have I checked for ANYONE I CONSIDER AS WACK AS SOME OF YOU CONSIDER DRAKE. Never. Same way I don't check for 'lames'* in real life. 

I guess this is the part where I am supposed to say "I don't 'understand' why you folks keep checking for him though" huh? Nope. I try not to say that ESPECIALLY WHEN I KNOW WHY. 




You are afraid that his 'emotions' will be accepted as the norm and you will actually have to act 'non tough' and stop acting emotionally available to get pussy. Which is the DUMBEST SHIT EVER btw. Just be yourself. Shit. He is. Look, if Ralph Tresvant's ass didn't stop niggas from getting pussy, there is no way DRAKE WILL. If that BabyFace 'I'll pay your rent.."** thing didn't last than this too shall pass. Stop sweating it.




Here is the ULTIMATE IRONY OF THIS THOUGH:




 YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER, when he isn't out here trying to impress you with is 'street cred' or the other stuff, LOVES DRAKE. Quotes him all the time. Collabs with him. Thinks he is ill. So when you are making those jokes are you talking about YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER TOO? Or is he/she exempt from that? Inquiring minds want to know. You want me to name names? @ rappers


Okay...COOL. I will. 


Meek QUOTES HIM OFTEN on Twitter... Joe Buddens.....QUOTES HIM OFTEN. The real GHOSTFACE? He has ACTUALLY GIVEN HIM PROPS. Jeezy? He has songs with him. 'Ye? Yep......Jay-Z (My FAVORITE RAPPER)...YOU KNOW IT... @ props. Phonte (2nd/3rd favorite rapper OF MINE) ? Didn't like the backhand compliment BUT HAS GIVEN HIM PROPS FOR HIS LYRICAL ABILITY. I can keep going..Bun B......yup....You want me to stop? I have more...I'll chill.....All respected lyricists.  I don't think I have to though now do I? 


Again, MAKE ALL THE JOKES YOU WANT. Some of them are deserved honestly. Just know that it is your OWN FAULT for torturing your OWN EARS when you 'listen' to folks you don't like. You hanging with folks that 'like' Drake like that but that isn't your style? Switch your planes- Jay-Z. (If you are a fan of hip hop, you get the reference..) 

Yes, I know...everyone you talk to talks about him. Not really. The folks I hear talking about him THE MOST ARE THE FOLKS WHO 'HATE HIM'. How ironic is THAT SHIT? In case you STILL DON'T GET WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY..Refer to the pictures. They say it all.




Sorry if you caught a stray bullet in this one. If this means we can't be 'friends', so be it. I mean....Ya'll catch me with 'em all the time though. I don't bitch about it. I keep pressing on.

*I hate that saying but it is the only 


**Soon I Get Home From Work.......I'll buy your clothes....It was all good until niggas thought they owned a bitch and then GALS CAUGHT ON and 'poof', that shit disappeared. Trust me, this 'Fuck that nigga....' shit will die down too. Besides, he isn't the first to say it. Do your research.  b

(Words) So @kimkardashian's 'divorce' is threatening the 'sanc·ti·ty of marriage/making a mockery of it eh?"

 Ya'll slay me. First it was 'The marriage will never last/lets take bets on how long it would last' and now it is 'Damm.....that quick? I thought it was gonna last for awhile'. Oh NOW ya'll wanna worry about the 'sanctity of marriage' and folks making a mockery of it as if REGULAR FOLKS AREN'T OUT HERE GOUGING HOLES IN IT ON THE REGULAR.




 Not to mention that....Wait...I covered this on MY TIMELINE so I am just going to quote myself in case you missed it.

 I think that just about covers my thoughts on Kim. As you know, I like her look but at the end of the day her marriage is just that...

Her marriage... I don't look to her or ANY OTHER PERSON IN THE PUBLIC EYE AS SOME SORT OF ROLE MODEL FOR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. The thing about marriage is that it doesn't care about 'status' or money. It is hard for EVERYONE so if it didn't work...it didn't work. Whether it took them one day to realize it or 1500 days. As for whether she did it for the money, that isn't my call nor MY CONCERN. I know folks out here who did for the money who are still married and I neither envy them nor worry about how their marriage is going. Those that got divorced in the same situation get equal concern. Zero.

I hear ya'll out here though. 'Mad about it'. (chuckles). Same folks who CLAIM you wouldn't get married anyway or don't believe it in to begin with. Or that it is against 'human nature'. Ya'll sound silly out here spouting off about you 'can't believe it didn't last' when your view of marriage is one of disapproval anyway.

I won't even speak on some of you talking about who have done (or are CURRENTLY DOING)  'devious' things with married people. You can MISS ME ALL THE WAY with the morality talk.


Anyway. Just thought I would address it here so that I wouldn't have to keep answering it. 'Cause you know I was asked since I post her pics up here all the time. I don't think any more or less of her than I did before. Luckily for some of you, I give you that same courtesy. Otherwise, I wouldn't fool with 3/4ths of you if I held you in judgment. Believe that. UPDATE: She released a statement.



*I put the word sanctity up phonetically for a reason. Can you figure out why?