A grizzly bear, mountain lion and a monkey are still on the loose in Ohio after authorities hunted down as many as 51 ferocious animals who were set free by the owner of an animal preserve before killing himself.
A guilty slave driver of animals obviously couldn't take the guilt anymore and let his
Muskingum County Sheriff Matt Lutz told reporters he can't be 100 percent sure that those three animals are the only ones unaccounted for
Awesome
"If you see these animals you do not run," said Hanna, who added he is most concerned about the mountain lion, since those animals have "great leaping ability."
Sure buddy Ill just stand there and say, "im a tree" over and over again. Sure the mountain lion is dangerous cause it can jump, but I think grizzly bear is pretty fucking dangerous, well cause its a grizzly bear.
The sheriff said that when his men arrived at the animal preserve in Zanesville, they found bears, lions, Bengal tigers, black bears, leopards roaming the area. Since it was about to get dark, he feared the animals would escape into the night.
Awesome! Just awesome!
Hanna and his vets visited the farm today, calling conditions deplorable. He plans to take all five living animals to the Columbus Zoo.
Obviously, they're being held in bondage by a greedy owner
He said his deputies had to kill animals at close range with their sidearms. One animal that got away was hit by a car on a highway some distance away, he said.
Ahhh what the fuck. Just like that racist town to go out and just put down any runaway. This could spark another Civil War.
Police, who have been ordered to shoot to kill, describe the loose animals as "mature, very big and aggressive."
God I really hope i don't hear "the animals were captured shot without incident"
Last night, as many as 51 wild animals, including cheetahs, grizzly bears, black bears, wolves, lions, a white Siberian tiger, camels and giraffes were running free in Zanesville, which has a population of about 25,000 residents. Police said that orangutans and chimps were found in Thompson's home, but they were still in their cages.
That is just too awesome. Cheetahs and and a white Siberian tiger rolling around the burbs. I would be sitting on my roof with some cold ones and binoculars just waiting for some action. Or even better driving around with some buddies, a case of beer, and meat stuffed with xanax.
Also awesome the chimps knew not to leave. They saw everyone else leaving and were all like, "them motherfuckers fitting to get shot. (also not a racist, more of "the wise old guys at a prison riot" reference more than anything. Who do probably happen to be black in my head, now that I think about it, damn it.)
I hope the few still free animals can find their way to the underground railroad and use it to get to freedom.
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-Les Anderson
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